I Cannot Abandon Myself to Live Someone Else’s Dreams
Some women are wired for big entrances.
They light up a room, speak their truth in full colour, and seem to know exactly where they’re headed. I’ve often admired that energy, but I’ve also learned it’s not the only way to create a life that matters.
There are so many confident women who seem to choose their “thing,” show up at a networking event, and share it with a sparkle in their eyes and certainty in their voice.
They stand on stages or in small circles, listing their limiting beliefs and then rising above them confidently, loudly, almost effortlessly.
That’s not me.
And it’s not many of the women I speak to, either.
Choosing Success Without Abandoning Yourself
Don’t get me wrong — I want success.
I want the freedom to choose what I do with my life. I want my work to matter. I want to create on my terms and see the results of that creativity support me and the people I love.
But I’m not willing to chase a version of success that requires me to perform confidence like it’s a party trick.
I’m not willing to fit into a mould just because it’s what “successful” is supposed to look like.
It matters to me that I live within my value system.
Because I cannot abandon myself to live someone else’s dreams.
The Question That Changed Everything
When I’m faced with opportunities, whether it’s a networking event, a stage, or an invitation to be “more visible,” I’ve learned to pause and ask myself:
Is this part of my end result?
Or does it create a fear that I’m not good enough if I don’t participate?
That question has changed everything.
Success That Feels Like Home
For me, success is not just about the end result.
It’s about the way I arrive there. It’s about the alignment between my choices and my values. It’s about building a life and business that feel like home, not a costume I put on to be accepted.
I’ve learned that integrity isn’t just about telling the truth to others; it’s about telling the truth to myself.
And my truth is that my growth might be quieter, slower, and less “Instagram-worthy” than some, but it’s mine. It’s honest. It’s sustainable.
Success without that… doesn’t feel like success at all.
A Note on the Universal Laws
For me, this choice — to live and work in a way that matches my values — feels a lot like the Law of Correspondence in action.
When I’m steady inside, when I’m honest with myself, I notice my outer world starts to line up with that.
And when I’m not… well, it shows there too.
I also see threads of the Law of Mentalism and the Law of Vibration here.
What I choose to think, believe, and carry in my energy changes what comes toward me.
It’s not about forcing or chasing — it’s about staying congruent inside so what’s outside has a chance to meet me there.
Your Turn
If this resonates with you, if you’ve felt the pull to create success in a way that honours your values rather than overrides them, you’re not alone.
This is the work I live and teach. You can join my newsletter https://www.nicolheard.com.au/mdtyi or explore my upcoming program She Who Knows waitlist to begin building from a place of self-trust.
Your Heart's desires are non-negotiable, and your life should not be lived as a compromise."
-Nicol Heard
Email: nic@nicolheard.com.au
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