If I Was… But I’m Not (And That’s the Best Part of Creating a Life I Love)
If I was super organised, my house would look like a Pinterest board. But guess what? I’m not. There are dishes in the sink and laundry in the basket, and I still get to create a life I love.
If I was a gym junkie, I’d be posting sweaty selfies with #beastmode. But I’m not. My version of movement looks more like a walk on the beach, yoga in pyjamas, or dancing in the kitchen. And I still get to create a life I love.
If I was someone who cared about fitting in, I’d be following the rule book, ticking boxes, and saying all the “right” things. But I’m not. I’ve tried that game, and it felt like wearing shoes two sizes too small. So now, I do it my way. And (you guessed it) — I still get to create a life I love.
And here’s the kicker:
If I was a narcissist, I’d do it your way.
I’d play the part. I’d bend myself into the shape that keeps everyone else comfortable.
I’d put on the mask, smile for the cameras, and keep the approval flowing.
But I’m not.
And that’s the point.
Because when you’re not here to fuel everyone else’s expectations, something magical happens: you remember that your life is yours. Not theirs.
If I was a narcissist, I’d be obsessed with how it looks.
But I’m not — I care about how it feels.
If I was a narcissist, I’d need you to clap for me every time I breathe.
But I’m not — I’m busy creating a life that feels good even when nobody’s watching.
If I was a narcissist, I’d need to win.
But I’m not — I’m here to live.
The truth is, we spend so much of our lives saying, “If I was more disciplined… if I was braver… if I was less messy…”
But all those ifs keep us trapped in a life that doesn’t fit.
Here’s the cheeky truth:
You don’t need to be “more of this” or “less of that.”
You don’t need to hit some imaginary milestone before you get to love your life.
You’re already allowed to build it.
With your quirks.
With your flaws.
With your sacred mess.
So let me flip the script one last time:
If I was perfect, maybe my life would look more polished.
If I was a narcissist, maybe I’d be living for applause.
But I’m not — and thank goodness for that.
Because it means I get to live a life that’s actually mine.
Messy. Beautiful. Unpredictable. And loved.
Ready to stop living by everyone else’s “if I was” and start living by your own truth?
That’s exactly what we’re doing inside She Who Knows — my 8-week journey into self-trust, spiritual self-esteem, and creating a life you love (mess and all).
Doors aren’t open yet, but the waitlist is. When you join, you’ll be the first to know when spots open, plus you’ll get access to early-bird bonuses I only share with my waitlist crew.
👉 Join the She Who Knows Waitlist here
Because you don’t need to be perfect, polished, or anyone else’s version of “enough.”
You just need to be you — and that’s more than enough to begin
Your Heart's desires are non-negotiable, and your life should not be lived as a compromise."
-Nicol Heard
Email: nic@nicolheard.com.au
© 2025 Nicol Heard Coaching | All rights reserved
On Wadawurrung Country, stretching from the Great Dividing Range in the north to the southern coast and from the Werribee River in the east to the Surf Coast in the west, we honour the Traditional Custodians of this land, the Wadawurrung people of the Kulin Nation. We pay our deepest respects to their Elders, past, present, and emerging, and acknowledge their enduring connection to the land, waters, and community. We also celebrate the rich stories, culture, and traditions of all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Elders who live and work on this land.