Have You Lost Access to a Personal Development Space or Training?

There’s a particular ache that hits when a space you’ve been relying on—whether it's a membership, training program, or even a close-knit community like HCSDE—suddenly dissolves or you choose to step away. It’s more than an inconvenience. It’s disorientation. It can feel like someone just yanked the scaffolding out from under your transformation.

Maybe it was the place where you first gave yourself permission to dream differently. Maybe it was where your nervous system first exhaled after years of performing, producing, and pretending. Maybe it was where you felt seen. Or held. Or initiated. And now it’s gone—or no longer aligned—and you're left with the question: What do I do without it?

FOMO creeps in. Especially if others are staying. You wonder if you’re missing something essential, something sacred. You scroll past their posts and feel the tension in your chest—Was that space more vital to me than I realised? Or am I just scared to stand on my own feet now?

And then there’s the grief. Not always loud or obvious. Sometimes it’s quiet, confusing. You might not even call it grief at first—it’s just a low hum of sadness or resentment or fatigue that lingers. But if you look closer, you’ll see it’s mourning. Mourning the rhythm that held you. The container that gave you purpose. The people who understood you in that exact moment of your becoming.

It’s okay to grieve the space even if you outgrew it. It’s okay to miss it even if you had to walk away. Sometimes what hurts most is realising how deeply you’d come to rely on something outside of yourself for alignment, validation, or inspiration. It’s not wrong. It’s human. But it’s worth noticing.

Because when the scaffolding disappears, you’re left to ask: What’s actually mine? What’s truly aligned?

This is the messy part. The sacred part. The part where your identity gets remade—not because someone told you who you were, but because you had to meet yourself again, raw and unheld, and remember: You were never meant to outsource your centre.

It doesn’t mean those spaces didn’t serve you. They did. They were teachers, mirrors, and wombs. But they were never meant to be the home. Just a chapter. A portal. A practice ground.

Losing access to a space like that reveals where you placed your power. Was your business tethered to that methodology? Was your confidence hooked on their validation? Did your sense of purpose only feel real when you were in that room, that Zoom, that training?

If so—again—it’s not wrong. It’s just a sign. A sacred checkpoint. An invitation to return to what’s yours.

The work now is to come home to your own knowing. To build the next phase from your centre, not from someone else’s framework. To recognise that while grief and gratitude can coexist, so can sovereignty and support. You don’t have to do it alone. But you also don’t have to collapse when something ends.

Maybe it’s time to gather what you’ve learned and create a space that reflects who you are now. Not who you were when you entered that container. Not who they asked you to become. But you. Messy. Whole. Evolving.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s where your real leadership begins.

What you might feel:

• A sense of disconnection

• The fear of missing out

• Loss of routine or creative direction

• The grief of outgrowing something that once felt like home

What it might reveal:

• Where your power has been placed

• The need for external validation

• Misalignment between your business and your truth