When Judgement Isn’t About Them: Returning to Your Own Truth

The other day I caught myself.

Noticing the irritation, the whisper of judgment. Someone in my world felt insincere, and my mind was lining up reasons to make them wrong. But as I slowed down, I realised it wasn’t really about them at all.

It was about me.

My ego was busy creating a story their insincerity so that I didn’t have to face the truth: I wasn’t acting on what I already knew to be true for me.

It’s so much easier to point the finger outward than to turn it inward. So much easier to say, “They’re the problem,” than to feel the discomfort of betraying myself. But judgment is projection. It’s the ego’s clever protection strategy.

And here’s the thing: I am a teacher. Which means, inevitably, I am also a student. Every time I guide another into alignment, I am invited into my own. Every time I see the subtle dance of ego in someone else, I am called to see it in myself. Teaching doesn’t let me escape the lesson; it deepens it.

• If I judge, I am still learning.

• If I resist, I am still learning.

• If I see it clearly, I am still learning.

To teach is to be apprenticed to my own becoming.

So when I find myself in judgement, I don’t stop at blame. I stop and ask: What truth am I avoiding here? Where have I left myself?

Because truth doesn’t need justification. It doesn’t need someone else to be wrong. It simply waits for me to have the courage to live it.

Next time you feel yourself sliding into judgment of someone else, try this:

• Pause. Notice the contraction in your body when judgment arises. Is it tightness in the chest, heat in the face, or restless energy? Name it: "I am in judgment."

• Turn it inward. Ask: “What truth am I avoiding acting on right now? Where am I betraying myself?”

• Breathe into regulation. Place a hand on your heart, slow your breath, and bring yourself into coherence. Remind your system that you are safe to see clearly.

• Choose congruence. Name one small action you can take to align with what you know to be true today, not later.

• Anchor the lesson. Whisper to yourself: “As I teach, I am taught. This moment is my practice.”

That’s the paradox of this path.

To be a teacher is to be a student. To guide others is to be continually guided back to yourself.

And when judgment shows up, it isn’t failure. It’s the signal that you are ready to return to your own truth.

Ready to Go Deeper?

If this reflection stirred something in you, it’s because you’re already standing at the edge of your next becoming.

That’s exactly what I created She Who Knows for — women who are ready to:

• Stop betraying their own truth

• Build the self-trust to act with congruence

• Walk with courage, even in uncertainty

Join the Waitlist and be the first to know when enrolments open.